Try to imagine standing before a wildly cheering audience after the showing of your very personal film at the country's most prestigious documentary film festival. You look off to the right and there's D.A. Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus. Right up front in the first row sits Ross McElwee (whose Sherman's March inspired you to make personal documentaries in the first place). To your left sits the Al Maysles (with those unmistakeable glasses). And there hovering in the back is Ricky Leacock.
Only in your dreams, right?
Add to this pantheon of legends some of the doc friends and colleagues you respect most. Folks like James Longley (Iraq in Fragments), Steve Ascher and Jeanne Jordan (So Much So Fast), Tom Lennon (Terry Sanford and the New South), Steve Bognar and Julia Reichert (A Lion in the House) and Nick Doob (Al Franken: God Spoke).
Maybe that's why the 51 Birch Street screening at Full Frame seemed like the stuff of fantasy. But it really happened, and two days later I'm still basking in the afterglow.
The day before I'd sat with Jeanne through the long (over 4 hours!), emotionally devastating Lion filled with admiration for the dedication and humanity of Steve and Julia, and for the courage of their young doomed subjects (children dying of cancer – not exactly penguin material). I'd been wanting to write Julia ever since I learned she was stricken with cancer herself while at Sundance. It was nice to have the chance to let her and Steve know how proud they made me feel to be a documentary filmmaker. But, man, I was a wreck afterwards!
Thank God I could go see an impressionistic portrait of war-torn Iraq to pick up my spirits (the brilliant Iraq in Fragments). I’ve known James for quite a while online – he’s one of our more active D-Word members – but had never met him. All those Sundance awards have made him a doc star (the film would later pick up the Full Frame Grand Jury Prize), but he’s a quiet and very humble guy. We celebrated his good fortune over a sprawling seafood dinner (and many pitchers of beer) with Lori, Michelle and, let’s see, Josh Gilbert (aka Tommy Chong), juror Rachel Boynton (Our Brand is Crisis), Zach Niles and Banker White (The Refugee All Stars) and Toronto doc programmer Thom Powers, among others.
Before my own screening, I took in the festival’s tribute to Ricky Leacock, which is the reason all those legends found their way down to Durham in the first place. Ross mentioned he would try to make my film, but I was a bit shell-shocked to see all the others file in later, too. The showing was sold out, with the packed waiting line extending down a long staircase and hallway, a good half-hour before the start time.
In my excitement, Lori and I didn’t do a very thorough tech check, and the contrast and brightness ended up way too high, giving the image muddy grays and an overall washed out, over-exposed look. So the screening itself was pretty excruciating for me. But clearly not for the audience.
The Q&A went by pretty much in a blur. My oldest sister, Ellen, had scored some frequent flyer tickets at the last minute, so I pulled her up front with Lori. She handled a couple of questions with real aplomb. Meanwhile, I vaguely remember someone bluntly asking me about my own marriage, and if I married someone more like my mother or my father.
“Marjorie’s a bit like my mother,” I acknowledged. “Only the sex is better.” Luckily, they all laughed. I think.
Afterward, Ross came up and gave me a hug, and Al put his hands on my shoulders and told me how impressed he was that I could tell so honest a story without making anyone a villain. Many of us repaired to the Marriott’s bar for drinks, and I definitely drank in the moment. Later, at the A&E party, any number of people, including festival director Nancy Biurski, approached me and Lori to say that everyone was talking about how great our film is.
Long after the shuttle buses had shut down for the night, I hitched a ride back to the filmmaker's hotel with Annie Sundberg (The Trials of Darryl Hunt), who promptly got totally lost on the back roads of rural North Carolina. Needless to say, I barely got any sleep, but I didn't care. A small price to pay for one of the all-time great days of my life.