Holy Crap, That's My FAMILY Splashed Across The Pages Of The New York Times!

51 Birch Street was featured in a huge spread in yesterday's Sunday New York Times.  Obviously, I've known it was coming for many weeks but it's something you can never fully prepare for. It's one thing to get a modicum of attention in the relatively insular world of the international film festival circuit. It's another to be put front and center before the eyeballs of millions of readers.

Another difference is up until now, reviews aside (which have been almost unanimously kind), I've had almost total control over the presentation of the film.  But when a reporter gets his hands on the story, it takes on a life of its own.

Luckily, I've known John Anderson for years, and trusted he would come up with something compelling and accurate.  And he did.  (Okay, except for the statement that HBO produced the film - for the record, it's a Copacetic Pictures production, in association with HBO/Cinemax Documentary Films and ZDF-Arte).

So I truly doubt John was the one who came up with the really caring, sensitive headline: "Mom Dies, Dad Doesn’t Grieve, and So a Film Is Born."  Because, as anyone who's seen the film eventually finds out (WARNING: close your eyes if you haven't seen it), my father did grieve for my mother... terribly.  But now everyone reading about this for the first time thinks my father is an unfeeling monster.

The funny thing is, my dad really doesn't care much about how he's perceived publicly.   It's one of the great things about being 86, he's told me.  And his wife Kitty just emailed this reassurance a few hours ago: "Don't worry about the headlines.  Although inaccurate, it will attract attention.  The same as us being married in 3 months instead of 16 months. The other sounds more like a scandal.  Selling the house in 6 months instead of 2 years.  None of these things are accurate. Not to worry.  We will overcome."

Geez, a bit of travelling around with the film and they're already hardened, savvy marketeers. 

As for me, it's hard to be objective.  Of course, a Times article is exciting, it's great for the film, it'll hopefully drive traffic to the theaters.  And I'm sure for about two seconds I'll be the envy of attention-starved indie filmmakers everywhere (heh heh).

But the thing I really love are the photos.  I mean, to have 3 family photos in the New York Times - that's just cool.  Especially the one with Yours Truly as skinny, shirtless hippie posing with his family on the front lawn of their house, circa early 70's.  Cracks me up every time.

So, what the hell, go ahead.  Say my dad was an axe murderer.  People just look at the pictures anyway, right?

Okay, see ya later.  Time to get back to all the emails from distant cousins and aging boomers I went to camp with in the 3rd grade.

bl

Comments

[Agnes Varnum]

It's a great article Doug. Congrats!

[Erica Ginsberg]

Doug, when I read the article, I also reacted strangely to the headline. Having seen the film, I thought your father's grief was quite evident...though perhaps he didn't grieve in the cookie-cutter way that our society seems to think we should. In fact, the real heart of the story for me was you and your siblings coming to terms with your own grief in a different way from your father -- not better or worse, just simply reflecting that you are different people with a different relationship to your mother.

My grandfather was a headline editor for a daily newspaper so I know there is a good possibility that the person who wrote the headline was not the same person who wrote the article. Quite possibly, the person who wrote the headline never even saw the film and was making some guesstimates about the film's content which would lend themselves to a catchy headline which fit the space. Let's hope he or she joins the throngs who are heading to see what is probably one of the best documentaries of the year.

[DiANE MERKER]

Hi Doug,

This is your old neighbor, Diane Merker - 57 Birch. How do I get a copy of this film - I would love to see it. The only thing strange that I remember about your family is that your Dad saved money by having everyone bath in the same bath water. When my sister Merryl would have a sleep over, she got the last bath!!

Regards, and good luck with your film,

Diane Merker

[Hildy Siegel Bubier]

Hi Doug,
This is 65 Birch St. checking in. Diane Merker just let me know about the film. Wish I could get to Austin tonight. Years ago my mother gave me an article from the NY Times about you!
Good luck with the film. I'm dying to see it!
Hildy

[Naomi Dagen Bloom]

my spouse and i just saw the film in nyc. it is terrific! before retiring, we were marriage counselors; this would be a perfect film to have couples, families, individuals see and ponder. might make the work go faster. change is hard and it can happen--great message. i'll be blogging about it soon.

[Liz Palmer]

Having just driven up Birch St.with my four year-old grandaughter in June, makes me all the more eager to see the film when it comes to Boston. I grew up at 52 Birch St.and have fond memories of life there.

[Ronnie Ciregna]

I lived at 47 Birch Street from the summer of 1979 until 1983 when my husband and I returned to live in Paris. Your mother and I enjoyed walking (as she walked the dog) and having good conversations. We shared personal stuff but probably nothing you don't know about, i.e., psychotherapy and her affair. I wrote to her after our return to France but, alas, we did not keep in touch. A close friend lived across the street, Richard Einhorn, but he was not interested in his neighbors. He has since moved to New Jersey.
I would like very much to see your film. We returned to the U.S. five years ago and we are now living in the Boston area, close to our children and grandchildren.
I liked your mother very much but I did not know her personal feelings about your father. It felt like a marriage where people who have lived together have come to terms with their disappointments.
I fondly remember that your mother liked a gin in the evening--- Boodles. I joined her several times.
Sincerely, Ronnie Ciregna

[Ronnie Ciregna]

I lived at 47 Birch Street from the summer of 1979 until 1983 when my husband and I returned to live in Paris. Your mother and I enjoyed walking (as she walked the dog) and having good conversations. We shared personal stuff but probably nothing you don't know about, i.e., psychotherapy and her affair. I wrote to her after our return to France but, alas, we did not keep in touch. A close friend lived across the street, Richard Einhorn, but he was not interested in his neighbors. He has since moved to New Jersey.
I would like very much to see your film. We returned to the U.S. five years ago and we are now living in the Boston area, close to our children and grandchildren.
I liked your mother very much but I did not know her personal feelings about your father. It felt like a marriage where people who have lived together have come to terms with their disappointments.
I fondly remember that your mother liked a gin in the evening--- Boodles. I joined her several times.
Sincerely, Ronnie Ciregna

[Ronnie Ciregna]

I lived at 47 Birch Street from the summer of 1979 until 1983 when my husband and I returned to live in Paris. Your mother and I enjoyed walking (as she walked the dog) and having good conversations. We shared personal stuff but probably nothing you don't know about, i.e., psychotherapy and her affair. I wrote to her after our return to France but, alas, we did not keep in touch. A close friend lived across the street, Richard Einhorn, but he was not interested in his neighbors. He has since moved to New Jersey.
I would like very much to see your film. We returned to the U.S. five years ago and we are now living in the Boston area, close to our children and grandchildren.
I liked your mother very much but I did not know her personal feelings about your father. It felt like a marriage where people who have lived together have come to terms with their disappointments.
I fondly remember that your mother liked a gin in the evening--- Boodles. I joined her several times.
Sincerely, Ronnie Ciregna

[paul]

Genealogy, A family based on social network

I am a regular visitor of your blog and always find something new at your site. I have come up with some new findings and want to share it with you.
I just launched a family 2.0 social network, Kincafe- www.kincafe.com. and would like to invite you for the review of the service and provide feedback to andy@kincafe.com.

Thanks
Paul